Update...

I thought after my last blog I had better write an update to let you guys know what happened since my last dramatic and emotional post. I feel that I must apologise for not keeping with happiness theme of the self entitled 'Chell's Happy World' but sometimes things throw me and I start to not feel so happy but I can confirm that I am absolutely back to normal and HAPPY again!!!

Since I last wrote I am more settled, into more of a routine, relaxing more, learning more and just generally having more fun. Here is a run down of my top 5 best things about living my life at the moment....in no particular order...

1) TEA....Every morning Laura Mitson makes me a cup of tea which I pick up when I come out of the shower and drink as I am getting ready...bliss
2) JOB....I am a glorified babysitter. I get to hang out with my young people all the time and we do stuff like gardening, shopping, going to the beach, eating food, etc, etc, etc. WHAT A JOB!!! Don't get me wrong it is hard work and the young people that I work with are very challenging but I LOVE IT!!!
3) HOME....I live with Jon and Laura Mitson - 2 of the best people in the world and I am having a ball. I am eating proper, hearty dinners, watching films, eating ice cream, chatting, laughing and enjoying living in the country. My room is lovely, the views are beautiful, my drive to and from work is amazing, bla, bla, bla.
4) MATTHEW....What can I say. I had forgotten how amazing it is to have the opportunity of seeing him on a daily basis. The feeling of having him just around the corner is really cool and, even though I haven't seen him a great amount it really is good to know that he is around and I can see him whenever I want...sweet!
5) MATES....I have only been here for a week but within that time I have spent some quality time with my (old time) Essex mates and have made some news ones. Already there have been some classic, funny, brilliant, insightful moments and I can't wait to have some more during my time here in Essex.

So the fear has disappeared and has now been replaced a feeling of 'ooh I wonder what's going to happen next'. I am still learning loads, I am still going to be challenged and stretched, I still miss my mates and my family....but I am actually OK. In fact I am more than OK...I am happy.

Up Up and Away...

So this week sees the beginning of the next chapter of my life...I have at long last made my move over the Dartford bridge to the sunny planes of Essex.

It has been a really strange 5 days because within that space of time I have left my job, seen Matthew play at th'Albert Hall, packed up my stuff, moved out, moved in with my good and lovely friends Laura and Jon and...phew...started a new job. ALL WITHIN 5 DAYS!!! My reaction to all these different events have not been pretty and have varied between 2 different mediums which include crying at anything that people say to me or running off to the toilet because I feel like I am going to throw up.

It all seems so overwhelming to me and I am not sure really whether I am coming going. This is the first time I have moved out of South London, in fact it is the first time I have properly moved out of all my comfort zones, it is the first time if 2 years that I have been near Matthew, it is the first time that I have ever undertaken intensive work with very vulnerable young people, etc, etc, etc.

To be honest I am scared. I can't remember being this scared about life for a long time...I know that this is the right thing for me to do, I know that I will be fine in the very near future and I know that the amount of support and love I have from my friends and family will help when I do feel like chucking...but for now life scary.