I thought after my last blog I had better write an update to let you guys know what happened since my last dramatic and emotional post. I feel that I must apologise for not keeping with happiness theme of the self entitled 'Chell's Happy World' but sometimes things throw me and I start to not feel so happy but I can confirm that I am absolutely back to normal and HAPPY again!!!
Since I last wrote I am more settled, into more of a routine, relaxing more, learning more and just generally having more fun. Here is a run down of my top 5 best things about living my life at the moment....in no particular order...
1) TEA....Every morning Laura Mitson makes me a cup of tea which I pick up when I come out of the shower and drink as I am getting ready...bliss
2) JOB....I am a glorified babysitter. I get to hang out with my young people all the time and we do stuff like gardening, shopping, going to the beach, eating food, etc, etc, etc. WHAT A JOB!!! Don't get me wrong it is hard work and the young people that I work with are very challenging but I LOVE IT!!!
3) HOME....I live with Jon and Laura Mitson - 2 of the best people in the world and I am having a ball. I am eating proper, hearty dinners, watching films, eating ice cream, chatting, laughing and enjoying living in the country. My room is lovely, the views are beautiful, my drive to and from work is amazing, bla, bla, bla.
4) MATTHEW....What can I say. I had forgotten how amazing it is to have the opportunity of seeing him on a daily basis. The feeling of having him just around the corner is really cool and, even though I haven't seen him a great amount it really is good to know that he is around and I can see him whenever I want...sweet!
5) MATES....I have only been here for a week but within that time I have spent some quality time with my (old time) Essex mates and have made some news ones. Already there have been some classic, funny, brilliant, insightful moments and I can't wait to have some more during my time here in Essex.
So the fear has disappeared and has now been replaced a feeling of 'ooh I wonder what's going to happen next'. I am still learning loads, I am still going to be challenged and stretched, I still miss my mates and my family....but I am actually OK. In fact I am more than OK...I am happy.
Tuesday, 19 June 2007
Tuesday, 12 June 2007
Up Up and Away...
So this week sees the beginning of the next chapter of my life...I have at long last made my move over the Dartford bridge to the sunny planes of Essex.
It has been a really strange 5 days because within that space of time I have left my job, seen Matthew play at th'Albert Hall, packed up my stuff, moved out, moved in with my good and lovely friends Laura and Jon and...phew...started a new job. ALL WITHIN 5 DAYS!!! My reaction to all these different events have not been pretty and have varied between 2 different mediums which include crying at anything that people say to me or running off to the toilet because I feel like I am going to throw up.
It all seems so overwhelming to me and I am not sure really whether I am coming going. This is the first time I have moved out of South London, in fact it is the first time I have properly moved out of all my comfort zones, it is the first time if 2 years that I have been near Matthew, it is the first time that I have ever undertaken intensive work with very vulnerable young people, etc, etc, etc.
To be honest I am scared. I can't remember being this scared about life for a long time...I know that this is the right thing for me to do, I know that I will be fine in the very near future and I know that the amount of support and love I have from my friends and family will help when I do feel like chucking...but for now life scary.
It has been a really strange 5 days because within that space of time I have left my job, seen Matthew play at th'Albert Hall, packed up my stuff, moved out, moved in with my good and lovely friends Laura and Jon and...phew...started a new job. ALL WITHIN 5 DAYS!!! My reaction to all these different events have not been pretty and have varied between 2 different mediums which include crying at anything that people say to me or running off to the toilet because I feel like I am going to throw up.
It all seems so overwhelming to me and I am not sure really whether I am coming going. This is the first time I have moved out of South London, in fact it is the first time I have properly moved out of all my comfort zones, it is the first time if 2 years that I have been near Matthew, it is the first time that I have ever undertaken intensive work with very vulnerable young people, etc, etc, etc.
To be honest I am scared. I can't remember being this scared about life for a long time...I know that this is the right thing for me to do, I know that I will be fine in the very near future and I know that the amount of support and love I have from my friends and family will help when I do feel like chucking...but for now life scary.
Tuesday, 22 May 2007
Chicken and Egg
Sooo...currently I live in a little house with a little cat called Andy. Now I really am a cat lover, I enjoy how they are so cuddly and furry, they make you feel wanted, warm and loved. It is for these reasons that me and Matthew thought that it would be a good idea to get 2 little kittens after we get married...aaahhh! The thing is that since I have been living with my snugly cat Andy it has become very apparent that they are also part of the lion family and are little predators...I have been welcomed home with a number of gifts including a bird half dead (which Andy then slaughtered all over our floor whilst I was upstairs...the bird was screaming...gross), several mice both alive and dead, a squirrel which had been split in half, yesterday I came home to a squirrel without a head and today there is a dead squirrel's tail sitting in my back room....eurgh!!!
So...anyway as you can imagine this does not bring warm snugly feelings to my bones but instead queasy, I want to be sick sorts of tendancies. Surely this isn't how cats are meant to make you feel? Well obviously I am not so keen on getting little kittens now as if the murder is bad where I live can you imagine what it will be like at Mashbury....(a picture for those who haven't been there...it is surrounded by fields and an abundance of wildlife)...
...the problem is that Matthew still wants one. I have tried to convince him that I am not sure I could cope with the bloodshed but he assures me that everything will be OK. I have even offered to have chickens instead as a comprise (lovely and practical as well) which he is considering as an options but still wants kittens. Now later on in the year I am to marry this man and many people have told me that marriage is all about giving so what do I do? I thought I should put it out to public opinion...
Kittens or Chickens?
So...anyway as you can imagine this does not bring warm snugly feelings to my bones but instead queasy, I want to be sick sorts of tendancies. Surely this isn't how cats are meant to make you feel? Well obviously I am not so keen on getting little kittens now as if the murder is bad where I live can you imagine what it will be like at Mashbury....(a picture for those who haven't been there...it is surrounded by fields and an abundance of wildlife)...
...the problem is that Matthew still wants one. I have tried to convince him that I am not sure I could cope with the bloodshed but he assures me that everything will be OK. I have even offered to have chickens instead as a comprise (lovely and practical as well) which he is considering as an options but still wants kittens. Now later on in the year I am to marry this man and many people have told me that marriage is all about giving so what do I do? I thought I should put it out to public opinion...
Kittens or Chickens?
Sunday, 13 May 2007
What's your thing?
Recently I have been thinking loads about my future and what I would like to see happen in it...I know at this point some of you may say 'but you don't plan your future Chell, that's left to God', which is cool but I do think that God has given me a mind that can think about the things I love doing and I wouldn't be surprised at all if God has created a future that involves most of the things that I love. This does beg the question though...what do I love to do? What are my passions? I guess I could also ask what is my ministry? What do I care most about?
This is my little journey of thinking I have been on...
...I love being around people
...I love working with young people especially within the 16-19 age group
...I specifically love working with vulnerable young people
...Even more specific than that I love working with homeless young people and young parents/young parents to be.
I believe that God has laid this group of young people on my heart and in my life in order to attempt to (often very badly attempt to) show them the meaning of love...that is my thing! I think that most people have a 'thing' and I am constantly challenged and in awe about what people's 'things' are but also saddened that often I can be friends with someone and never know anything about their 'thing', maybe this is because we are scared to talk about what we love or are good at just in case we come across as arrogant. Well today I am putting an end to all! I have been vulnerable in telling you my thoughts so now I only have one thing left to ask...
What's your thing?
This is my little journey of thinking I have been on...
...I love being around people
...I love working with young people especially within the 16-19 age group
...I specifically love working with vulnerable young people
...Even more specific than that I love working with homeless young people and young parents/young parents to be.
I believe that God has laid this group of young people on my heart and in my life in order to attempt to (often very badly attempt to) show them the meaning of love...that is my thing! I think that most people have a 'thing' and I am constantly challenged and in awe about what people's 'things' are but also saddened that often I can be friends with someone and never know anything about their 'thing', maybe this is because we are scared to talk about what we love or are good at just in case we come across as arrogant. Well today I am putting an end to all! I have been vulnerable in telling you my thoughts so now I only have one thing left to ask...
What's your thing?
Monday, 30 April 2007
Roland and Joan....
Meet my Mum and Dad...
...they are exactly how they look in this picture (only Joan is slightly smaller thank she looks here)..they are fun loving, smiley, 'love everyone' kind of people. They have an amazing gift of hospitality which has been a blessing to so many who have not had a family around to give them Sunday lunch, a place to say for a couple of months, a cup of tea here and there. They take joy in seeing other people satisfied and gain energy and joy from just hanging around with us 'young one's. If anyone has ever had the pleasure of meeting them then I am sure they would join me in thanking them for everything they do for people. I have learned so much off my Mum and Dad about how to treat people, how to provide comfort for people (not just in practical ways) and how to always be available to help no matter what the cost. I have witnessed so many people over the years pick up the phone for a chat with my Mum and Dad simply because they want to be cheered up, turn up our doorstep knowing that there is a cup of tea and a listening ear on the other side of the door and many have adopted them as their surrogate parents because they feel so loved by them. My Mum and Dad are the type of people you want at a party no matter what the age group is because they are so fun loving and add so much to any group they are in. I cannot say enough how much I love them and I cannot believe that in a world where so many people grow up without a family I have been so blessed with such an amazing set of people who directly influence my life.
Mum and Dad have touched so many lives and continue to do so. I am so chuffed to have them as my parents and my friends and I just want to say thank you for doing such an awesome job in this world.
...they are exactly how they look in this picture (only Joan is slightly smaller thank she looks here)..they are fun loving, smiley, 'love everyone' kind of people. They have an amazing gift of hospitality which has been a blessing to so many who have not had a family around to give them Sunday lunch, a place to say for a couple of months, a cup of tea here and there. They take joy in seeing other people satisfied and gain energy and joy from just hanging around with us 'young one's. If anyone has ever had the pleasure of meeting them then I am sure they would join me in thanking them for everything they do for people. I have learned so much off my Mum and Dad about how to treat people, how to provide comfort for people (not just in practical ways) and how to always be available to help no matter what the cost. I have witnessed so many people over the years pick up the phone for a chat with my Mum and Dad simply because they want to be cheered up, turn up our doorstep knowing that there is a cup of tea and a listening ear on the other side of the door and many have adopted them as their surrogate parents because they feel so loved by them. My Mum and Dad are the type of people you want at a party no matter what the age group is because they are so fun loving and add so much to any group they are in. I cannot say enough how much I love them and I cannot believe that in a world where so many people grow up without a family I have been so blessed with such an amazing set of people who directly influence my life.
Mum and Dad have touched so many lives and continue to do so. I am so chuffed to have them as my parents and my friends and I just want to say thank you for doing such an awesome job in this world.
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